"I am not racist. Some of my best friends are black on Halloween."-Anthony Jeselnik (via krautwurst)
The last episode ever of the Jeselnik Offensive.I watch this episode, oh I don’t know, about once a week?
I don’t think there was ever a more superb meeting of the minds in current comedic genius.
Anthony Jeselnik = Absolutely amazing comedian, owner of world’s best smile and my fucking heart.
Comedy Central cancelled their only comedic show, The Jeselnik Offensive will be missed.
I think that having a baby is like playing the lottery because more than anyone else, Latinos love it. - Anthony Jeselnik
[VIOLENTLY THINKS OF HOW CUTE YOU ARE AND HOW NICE IT WOULD BE TO HOLD YOU ON A DAILY BASIS]
“People say they like it when it’s just friends hanging out, but they don’t really like that. They really want a blood bath. They want someone to come up and get killed. And if it’s not going to be a bloodbath, then don’t invite me to your party. That’s all I do.”